No, this is not a chronicle of a desert misadventure or a marathon attempt gone awry. This is the story of my true descent into hippie not-yet-a-mama madness. The juicing and essential oils were just the tip of the iceberg. Now that I have made my own chips and leather, I have my modern hippie bona fides.
A few weeks ago, Science Guy and I stopped at the estate sale of one of my Boss Lady’s clients. (They weren’t dead, just downsizing.) After foraging mostly in the basement and garage – the furniture in the rest of the house was both too big and still too expensive for us – we emerged with four martini glasses, four margarita glasses, a 24″ photographic reflector for $1 (WIN!), and this happy fellow. (I think it looks like a Decepticon.)
Ironically, the night before I acquired said dehydra-tron, I had attempted to make kale chips in the oven. I followed online instructions that told me to bake at 350*F for 10 minutes and I got kale charcoal flakes. Very disappointing that I incinerated a whole bunch of kale less than 24 hours before I could have made these crispy, crunch (cruspy?) beauties:
I trimmed the stems and then “massaged” the leaves with a bit of olive oil and apple cider vinegar. (Why massage seems to be the standard operative verb for kale is beyond me, but okay.) A sprinkle of garlic and herb seasoning and into the dehydrator they went. I turned it to 135*F for about two hours and wound up with deliciousness.
I’m really glad I have the dehydra-tron now that Green Bean Delivery is putting enormous quantities of produce (more than even I can eat, usually) on my doorstep. The maiden voyage of the dehydra-tron was actually mango-ginger fruit leather:
For this, I pureed two ripe mangos and some shredded ginger. I dried that at 135* for about 10 hours and wound up with a yummy, chewy, oversized bi-coin of mango-ness. I now keep dehydra-tron in mind when getting groceries. My next project will probably be some form of animal protein jerky. Stay tuned!