Sleep Wars Episode I: The Nighttime Menace

In Parenting by Jenn0 Comments

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…

A young mother in a lonely condo surrounded by retirees brought forth a child. (Not in the actual condo, in a hospital.) From his birth onward, she assumed her child would be heir to her strong affinity with the Sleep. For three months, she was right.

Then her child was seduced by the Awake Side, and he became far too interested in the outer world of games and toys and other people’s business to sleep, or nurse, in public.

Amusement, peh. Developmental milestones, peh. A Sleep Jedi craves not these things. But the young Padawan was led astray by the burgeoning of his own young brain and the prospect of UNLIMITED…SQUIRMING!!!

The young mother tried desperately to protect her child from the Awake Side. (And prevent herself from falling into the Dark Side.) She diligently nursed him to sleep and delicately placed him in his crib, praying he wouldn’t wake. But the call of the Awake Side was too powerful to be ignored. He began to conquer one nap at a time, with no thought to his own crankiness. Soon all naps had fallen and even night was no longer safe.

When word came of his plans to build a terrible new weapon called the Crawl Star, she knew something had to be done. It was time for sleep training.

…To be continued…

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